A Series Of Strange Events
by teen3series
Summary: I don't want to spoil anything so I won't say much. Also, if you like Ginny, you probably won't like Harry in this story. Anyways, there's time traveling, clones, and a cyclops-eucalyptus tree. Oh, yeah. And Dora.
1. Chapter 1

Harry closed Harry Potter and The Deathly Hollows and snorted. "If only everything in here happened," Harry sighed. "Then my life would be so much more exciting." Harry's cell phone buzzed in his pocket for the millionth time. He let it go to voicemail  
as he packed up his things.

"Hey, Harry-pie! It's Ginny! You haven't picked up any of my previous calls and I'm starting to get kind of worried. Call me as soon as you can! 'Kay, bye!" Ginny's voice rang through Harry's earbuds.

Harry groaned. I might as well call her, he thought. Harry dialed Ginny's familiar number into his phone. It hadn't even started to ring when Ginny answered on the other end.

"Harry! What's been keeping you?" Ginny asked, obviously relieved Harry had called.

"Er- Quadditch. It's crazy being the new captain." Harry quickly lied. How was he supposed to tell his girlfriend he had been avoiding her?

"Oh, I knew you weren't putting me off!" Ginny said. "Do you want to go on a date tonight? Maybe to see the latest movie they've made about you?"

Ginny had already taken him to see that movie ten times in the past month. And all Harry wanted to do was get back to Dumbledore's Mansion to talk to Hermione and Ron.

"Well, Ginny-"

"Isn't Daniel Radcliffe quite charming? He looks like you a lot, doesn't he?" Ginny asked. She had searched up pictures of him and was goggling at them.

Harry chuckled nervously. "I guess. I mean I don't think he got my hair down." Harry cleared his throat. "Anyway, Ginny, I was going to head back to Hogwarts."

"Oh." Ginny said with clear disappointment.

"It's just, you know-" Harry always felt guilty about declining to Ginny's requests. "Ron and Hermione-"

"You want to hang out with my brother instead of me?" Ginny asked, sniffling. "I thought that you really loved me!"

"I do, I do," Harry said to Ginny. "I just-" Harry was trying to convince himself he really did love her. "We need to study! And, uh, you'd distract me."

"Oh. Maybe we can-"

"Talk to you later!" And Harry ended the call. He quickly dialed Ron's number.

After a few seconds, Ron answered. "Hey, Harry! Hermione, not now-"

Harry could hear the shuffling of feet and the voice of... Daniel Radcliffe?

"Anyway, what's up?" Ron asked.

"Well, it's about Ginny," Harry admitted. He pulled the chair he had previously been sitting on out. He sat down. "She's been quite clingy lately and I don't think I like it much."

"Well, you are the guy of her dreams..." Ron told Harry. Harry noticed Ron was talking in a whisper.

"Ron, where are you exactly?" Harry asked.

"Well, I'm at the movies with Hermione. The muggles have a rule to turn your phones off and Hermione keeps scolding me for breaking the stupid rule. I think seeing herself back in her strict days has had an affect on her!"

Harry laughed. Then he remembered why he had called Ron in the first place. "I don't really think I love Ginny, Ron."

Harry couldn't tell what Ron was doing, but it seemed that by the sudden drop of the phone, that Ron had fallen out of his chair.

"Harry!" Ron said. "You can't be telling the truth!"

"Ron, you should know the feeling," Harry said, "you broke up with Lavender Brown."

"Well, she wasn't my best friend's sister!" Ron whispered loudly.

"But I can't make our relationship a lie!" Harry replied."When Ginny finds out, she'll kill me. Can you just tell Hermione to tell her?"

Ron shook his head. "If you're going to break up with my sister, you'll do it yourself."

Harry groaned. "But, Ron-"

Ron didn't care what Harry had to say, "No buts, Harry."

"When did you become the responsible one?" Harry asked with a snort.

"Oh, be quiet!"

"Is that Harry?" Hermione's voice asked.

"Yeah." Ron responded.

"Well, tell him goodbye because we're about to kiss in the movie!" she replied.

Harry's stomach lurched at the thought of romance. If only he were that excited about watching his own romance scene in a movie.

"Well, you heard Hermione," said Ron. "See you later. Come here, Hermione!"

"Oh, Ron you-"

Ron didn't have to hang up. Harry shut his phone off. Harry grabbed his bag and pushed in the chair. Several people waved goodbye, although they didn't know him as a hero, but as a friend who often visited the library to talk to others or to get peace  
and quiet. He returned the books he had been reading all day and was about to open the door. He stopped suddenly when he heard a sweet voice he had too many times heard.

"Do you have any available Harry Potter books?" Ginny Weasley asked. "Specifically the ones where he kisses Ginny?" (Harry had to hold his stomach) "So, do you?"

The librarian leaned over the desk and whispered to Ginny, "If you want a kiss from him, I'm sure he wouldn't mind giving a cute girl like you a kiss on the cheek." She said with a wink. "Harry Potter is here, you know."

Ginny's smile turned to a betrayed frown. "What?" she choked. "He told me he was at a Quadditch match!"

Several muggles turned toward Harry, who was now hiding behind a bookcase in the science-fiction section. Harry put a finger to his lips and the muggles nodded, understanding they should keep quiet.

"Oh! Are you-" the librarian was very confused. She had been joking about Harry being there. "Harry isn't really here, just another boy."

Ginny relaxed. "Good."

Harry breathed a sigh of relief. He turned to walk out the other exit, but he hadn't seen a stack of books a tweenage girl had been collecting. He tripped over them, colliding with the bookcase. Like a stack of dominoes, the cases tumbled down with a  
large thump.

"Oh, are you-"

Harry rubbed his nose and wiped the blood from his cheek. He lifted his face off the bookcase to face the owner of the voice. Someone gasped. It was Ginny.

"Harry! You told me you were doing Quadditch stuff! You lied to me!" Ginny yelled.

"Ginny, I-" He stopped. She had already found out the truth, so what was the point of lying? "Yeah. I did lie."

"Oh my gosh, Harry!" Ginny grunted with a stomp. She turned her back to him. "How long have you been in this stupid Muggle store?"

"A couple hours, at least," he replied.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you!" Ginny screeched.

Harry tried not to roll his eyes as he stood up and walked to the opposite side of Ginny. "I've been here since 10, so about... Geez, seven hours."

"HARRY! That means when I called you the first through 202nd time you were here?!" Ginny said, even louder than she had been screaming.

Harry silently apologized to the confused Muggles and said calmly to Ginny, "We should probably break up outside-"

"WHAT?!" Ginny exploded.

Harry's face turned tomato red. "I meant bring this outside, not break up! Ginny-"

"DON'T TALK TO ME!" Ginny sobbed as she ran out the door.

"Crap." Harry uttered. He rushed out the door, apologizing to every few Muggles he walked by. Ginny was no where in sight outside. Harry ran a hand through his messy hair. He felt a slight buzz in his pocket.

Harry picked up his phone without looking at the caller I.D. It was Ron.

"Harry, what the heck did you do to Ginny?" Ron asked over the phone. Harry opened his mouth to ask a question when Ron answered, "She avaperated in Dumbldore's doorway as soon as we got back from the movies."

"Oh. Um, I accidentally broke up with her," Harry told Ron. He could tell Ron was gaping. "But, if I'm honest I kind of feel good."

"HARRY!" Ron yelled. "Do you know how much Ginny loves you? Loved? Who cares! She was/is in love with you!"

"Yeah, I know," Harry said. "Ginny admitted herself that she called me at least 202 times! Who does that?"

"Ginny does. Don't judge my sister! She's never had a real boyfriend before!" Ron told Harry defensively.

"Really? Because as far as I'm concerned, I saw her and-"

"Excuse me, Harry," It was the librarian who had been listening to his side of the conversation the whole time. "Did you want to come inside?" the librarian asked. "And possibly sign my copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows?"

"Bye, Ron," Harry growled into his phone. He shoved the phone into his pocket and pulled out a pen.

"Oh, could you say 'From Harry to Linda'?" the librarian asked.

Harry scribbled a message on the title page and started walking down the street.

When Harry made it to Dumbledore's humongous mansion he opened the door and plopped down on his favorite chair. Hermione was waiting for him.

"Did you really break up with Ginny?" Hermione asked.

"It was an accident," Harry said. He got up from the chair, although he was comfortable, and went to the kitchen to get some chocolate frogs.

"Harry, you wouldn't have said it if you weren't thinking about it," Hermione said.

"So what if I was thinking about it?" Harry mumbled. He bit carefully into his chocolate frog and pulled out the card. "Look who it is." Harry laughed softly. He examined the card. Hermione snatched the card from his hand.

"I didn't know you had a chocolate frog card, Harry," Hermione exclaimed with a smile. She frowned again. "But that doesn't matter," she said as she stuffed the card into her pocket. "You broke up with Ginny!"

"Yeah, end of conversation," Harry grumbled. He grabbed two more chocolate frogs and walked out of the kitchen, back to the chair.

"Stop avoiding the question!" Hermione yelled. She stomped out towards Harry. "Ginny came here crying and Ron was furious! She's probably still crying now!"

"Really?" Harry remarked, not paying attention. "Since when did Sirius get a chocolate frog card? I thought he died."

"Oh, shut up!" Hermione stomped her foot on the ground.

"Fine," Harry said. He placed the last frog on a small table next to the chair. "I'll apologize."

Harry went up the stairs and knocked on a door with the sign "Ginny's Room!". Underneath that it read, "Unless You're Hermione, Ron, or Harry, don't come in". But Harry's name was crossed out. He knocked on the door anyway.

"Hey, Ginny-" Harry began, but he stopped after hearing giggling inside. Harry opened the door, but when he saw Ginny, she was definetly not crying.

As a matter of fact, she was laughing at a cat video and sitting next to someone Harry had never seen before. He tried to continue anyway. "So, uh, I'm sorry I broke up with you. I never meant to make-"

The guy turned around. He had long, blonde hair and a random goatee. "Babe, who's this?" he asked.

Ginny turned around and looked up at the guy. She looked like she hadn't been crying at all. "Joel, that's my ex, Harry."

Harry smiled awkwardly and waved, trying to look like he wasn't bothered by this at all. Joel examined Harry silently for a moment. Then he started laughing. Harry felt his face starting to get hot.

Joel recovered from his laughing fit and said, "You used to date this guy?"

"Excuse me, but I have an entire FRANCHISE!" Harry said.

Joel snorted snobbily. "I'm guess half of that isn't even accurate."

Harry's face grew even redder. "Who is this guy anyway?" he asked Ginny through clenched teeth.

"Oh," Ginny said as she looked up from her phone. "That's Joel!" Harry remembered that name. "We're engaged!"

Harry's mouth dropped open. "Wait, what?!" 


	2. Harry Gets Jealous

"Hold on, I broke up with you less than five minutes ago!" Harry said. He took a step forward.

Joel got up. "Of course dumb little Potty boy doesn't know a thing," Joel said with a smirk. Harry clenched his fists. "I'm a cyclops eucalyptus tree-"

"What?" Harry looked at Ginny, but she seemed perfectly fine with everything. She smiled at Harry then looked down at her phone. _The glow of the phone illuminates her face so that she lookslike an angel_ , Harry thought. For a second helooked  
/longingly at Ginny, then he shook his head. _Whatever. I don't need a girl._ Sirius was single. Dumbledore is single.

"-so that led to my mother and father falling in love and-" Joel looked at Harry. "Get your stupid eyes off my fiancé," Joel spat.

"I wasn't looking at her!" Harry said. "But, um, why are you, a cyborg whatever-the-heck and Ginny, a perfectly good, slightly stalker-ish, pretty hot girl, doing getting married?" Harry asked.

"Long story short, I found her crying at a bus station, we talked, fell in love, and then went on a couple years of dates-"

"Wait," Harry tried to comprehend what he was being told. None of this made sense.

"Let me finish!" Joel bellowed.

"Calm yourself, dear," Ginny said, still staring at the phone.

"Anyway," Joel said in a mock sweet voice. "We decided we would get married. Ginny didn't want anyone to get worried though, so we traveled back in time."

"Ginny, is that true?" Harry asked, his head spinning. She would say no, dump this crazy nutjob, and Harry would beg for her forgiveness.

But Ginny said, "It's all true Harry. I've actually spent three yearswith Joel, but to you it feels like three minutes."

Harry felt like he was about to pass out. So Ginny _was_ engaged to Joel. "And you're twenty whileI'm eighteen?" Harry asked. His voice felt small and squeaky.

"Yep, so now I'm older than Ron," Ginny still hadn't looked up at Harry.

"You understand now, Potty?" Joel asked.

"I, er-"

But he didn't have time to say anything because at that moment, someone burst through the front door of the mansion.

"The toast is coming! The toast is coming! Ronald! Hermy! Hurry up and grab some jam!" A voice roared downstairs.

Ron went running past Ginny's door. Harry took the opportunity to get away from Joel and chased after him. As they neared the stairs, Harry raised down to see none other than Dumbledore running into the kitchen with Hermione right behind him.

Harry poked Ron on the shoulder. "Do you think his time away from London has made his brain a little… strange?"

Ron jumped a little, but responded, "I'm afraid it has."

Ron sighed but ran forward towards the kitchen. Harry followed.

In the kitchen, Dumbledore was throwing vegetables and condiments out of the fridge. "Where's the dang jelly?!" he bellowed.

"Um, Dumbledore," Hermione said as Dumbledore trashed the fridge, "we don't have any jelly."

Dumbledore spun around. "What?! Then how are we going to get rid of the toast?!"

Ron walked swiftly to the door and opened it. "Dumbledore, it looks to me that there's nothing there." Ron shut the door and turned around. "Why don't we make you some tea or something?"

Harry nodded. "He seems to be a bit mad."

"Mad?! MAD?! I am certainly not mad! There is toast out there and it's coming right for us!" Dumbledore exclaimed he stood up and went to the pantry. "There has to be some honey somewhere..."

Hermione sighed. "We might as well help him. He won't go up to bed."

Harry and Ron sighed. They both knew that even though he was old, Dumbledore would do anything he could to prove he was right.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione joined Dumbledore at the pantry. "You take the peanut butter, since you're the nuttiest," Dumbledore said as he thrust the jar into Harry'schest. Ron and Hermionetried to suppress a laugh.

"Hermione's the sweetest, so she gets honey." Dumbledore handed Hermione a tube of honey. Ron gave her a short kiss on the cheek. Harry smiled at his friends.

"And Ronald, um.. I don't know what to say about butter," Dumbledore muttered as he gave Ron two sticks of butter.

"It's because you're good for everything!" Hermione told Ron after seeing him slightly disappointed.

Dumbledore grabbed a toaster and ran to the door. "Hermy, go to the stairs so they won't get upstairs. Harry, you hide behind the couch over there. Ron, you stand with me by the door." All three of them went to the positions Dumbledore told them to go.

"Ronald, check the right window andsee if there is any toast!" Dumbledore told Ron.

Ron peeked out the window. He didn't expect to see anything. "There's nothing there Dumbledore," Ron said.

Hermione glared at him.

Ron rolled his eyes, but looked back to the window.

It was quiet for a few minutes. Harry stuck a finger into the peanut butter and licked it. Hermione closed the cap on the honey. Ron stared blankly out the window. He wasn't even looking for toast. He was daydreaming about Hermione. He smiled tohimself.

Dumbledore got up and walked to the left window. "Ronald! They're almost at the door! What have you been doing?!" Dumbledore yelled.

Ron turned to the window and looked out, ready to see nothing but trees and grass, but to his surprise, an army of small creatures were heading for the door. Eachpiece of toast with small arms and legs was carrying a butter knife.

Ron turned back around and looked at Dumbledore, who was unlocking the door.

"Everyone get ready," Dumbledore said.

He turned the door knob and the toast came roaring in. Ron took his butter knife and took a glob of butter out of the stick. Several pieces of toast cowered and stepped back. Harry took a blob of peanut butter out of the jar and flung it at a small group  
moving up the stairs.


End file.
